Sometimes I'm amazing. Most of the times, I'm a hot mess. Both versions deserve to be loved.
Rebecca and I recently attended a beautifully inspiring event called "Fashion Stars for a Cause" at the Dallas Country Club, supporting our friend Elizabeth Scrivener of Park Cities Counseling, who brings awareness to suicide and the need for funding of the suicide crisis centers here in Dallas.
Wow - did I ever become aware. And wow - did I ever learn something (especially when suicide hit my community a few days later).
Perspective. I’m OK. My life is not perfect. I get mad at my husband - I could use $10 million dollars - My kids need to be shouted at 5 times before they will do anything - And I easily forget my country club manners. BUT I have my husband. I have my kids to hug after the yelling. I have a biz that I love.
Purpose. I can do something, even a small thing. The reasons someone chooses to take his or her own life are as varied as the individuals themselves. But maybe there is something as a mom, friend, business woman I can bring awareness to . . .
Perfect Who? I Don't Know Her...
One thing that consistently occurs to me is that women have a shared feeling of not being good enough.
We are presented everyday with women with perfect lives, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect marriages, perfect boobs, perfect kids, perfect vacations. Then we hold ourselves up to these photoshopped, curated, and unrealistic standards.
Now while a certain part of perfection is necessary for branding whether personal or business, it strikes me that we are going way too far on social media.
We're All Going Through Something
Rebecca and I have the incredible honor and privilege of meeting amazing women through Harper Hallam.
Each one of these woman appears like she has it all figured out. She has the perfect hair, perfect boobs, yada yada yada yada. And that is the version that everyone loves.
But then you talk with her and, once you get past the notion of Country Club manners (which is hard for this girl from working class Milwaukee) that perfect-looking woman across from you mentions that her mom is sick or her teen has been admitted to rehab or her husband left her or she is recovering from cancer.
And then it hits you.
We are all the same. We are all going through something. None of us have it all figured it out. And that part of everyone who is going through something needs to be loved and admired, too.
Seek to Understand Each Other. Not Judge.
There is no question that when we look good, we feel good . . . No one should be judged for looking good or wanting to look good. But someone else's effort towards their physical appearance does not qualify as a standard to which to compare yourself . . .
Rebecca and I are passionate about bringing to our HH Insiders the real stories of these women, and we like to call them HH (UN)Basic Women.
Yes. They look all figured out. But that is something to be inspired and motivated by rather than using it to shame ourselves for forgetting to shave a leg.
There is no question that when we look good, we feel good. And no one should be judged for wanting to look good. But someone else's efforts towards her physical appearance does not qualify as a standard to which to compare yourself.
We do not need to look exactly like another person to look good. We need to look good for ourselves. A flower blooms where it is planted. It does not wilt because that darn rose next to it has big . . . err . . . blossoms . . . (ok weird reference but I think you get my point).
Put Your Armor On
I am no longer 20 and will not have the skin or muscle tone of a 20 year old. But I can work on what I can control and make it my armor. I can keep working out, put on a nice outfit (and earrings, always earrings) in order to be a good looking and feeling 43 year old woman.
That amor is what I will wear to face the everyday ups and downs of life . . . and I will figure the rest out as I go along.
Because no one needs to have it all figured out to look good (and feel good.)